AN EMOTIONAL DAY

I checked in at the main desk, filled out the paper work and waited in the waiting room to see the surgeon. Tawnya, Martin and I chatted while we waited. I felt pretty much at peace. Since my diagnosis on August 12th I had done bunches of research on my options. I had come to several conclusions on certain issues, but was still not sure on other issues. Tawnya had talked to me and was afraid I was going in to see the surgeon with preconceived ideas and would not be open to his suggestions. I assured her I would listen carefully and weigh my decisions carefully. We are talking life or death. I wanted to choose life.

We were called into the doctor's examining room and he soon came in. I felt pretty numb. It was like I couldn't grasp where I was ~ and yet I knew very well where I was. The doctor did a manual breast exam to see if he could feel the tumor. Since it is small he couldn't feel it.

At the top of a paper he wrote: Breast Cancer
Invasive Ductal Carcinoma ~ 80%
Lobular Carcinoma~ 10-15%
I had the most common kind of breast cancer.
He also explained that the cancer Estrogen Receptor Assay (ER) was positive.
The Progesterone Receptor Assay (PR) was negative.
HER2 Assay by Herceptest was positive (3+).
He went on to say that this is not the kind of breast cancer they like to see.

Then he then went on to explain my options:
He made 2 columns. The first column he listed:

BREAST PRESERVATION:
Lumpectomy and sampling of armpit lymph nodes
-Clear margins
"get it all out"
-Radiation is REQUIRED!!!
5 days a week for 6 weeks
30 treatments
-Chemotherapy-?
Based on surgical patholgy report
-Tamoxifen - yes
1 pill a day for 5 years

The second column on the paper said:

Modified Radical Mastectomy
-Remove entire breast amd sample armpit lymph nodes
"Get it all out"
Radiation recommended in special cases
-Chemotherapy-?
Same
-Tamoxifen - Same
Yes
-Reconstruction
Implants
Own tissue


Then he explained about the Sentinel Lymph Node~
He would take out 3-6 lymph nodes - the ones that drain that area of the breast.
If negative for tumor would stop
If positive for tumor he would do an Auxilliary Discection

Now, I have to tell you that sitting there and listening to all that was not the greatest thing I have ever done in my life!! (Tawnya told me later that I looked white as a sheet and she was afraid I was going to faint.)

Then the surgeon told me there was no other option and he wanted to know what I thought.

I thought for a moment and I said: "Do you really want to know what I think?" He said he did. And I said: "This is way to overwhelming and I can not make a decision today."