Breast Cancer Diagnosis ~ Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I woke up this morning knowing that by the end of the day I would know whether I was a breast cancer patient or not. I got up at the usual time of 5 a.m. to prepare for work and left home around 7 a.m. I was eager to hear from the doctor and yet fear would set in from time to time wondering what the results would be. The morning was routine in care for the children. We read books, played with play dough and watched "Einsteins" on TV. The Radiologist had told me to call him Tuesday afternoon. I was also given another number for a Care Coordinator. I waited until 1 p.m. and I called the Care Coordinator to see if they had the results. She told me they had not received the pathology report yet and told me to call back in an hour. My heart is pounding and I am wanting to know and yet I don't want to know....I call back at 2 p.m. and there are still no results. I call at 3 p.m. and the Care Coordinator puts me on hold and immeditely transfers me to the Radiologist. He picks up the phone and says he is sorry to inform me that the needle biopsy showed a malignancy.

The children were still napping and I was alone. My knees felt weak and I felt like someone had kicked me in the pit of the stomach. I tried to call my husband, Martin, and could not reach him. My mind was racing a million miles a minute..........women die every day from breast cancer....how can this be?.........none of my relatives have had breast cancer.......I have lived a fairly healthy lifestyle......no smoking......no alcohol......no meat.....and my thoughts just raced. I was too numb to cry at that time. It did not seem like a reality. I wondered how I would get through the rest of the day.

I finally reached Martin and our daughter, Tawnya. I wanted to let Tawnya know before she got home as once she gets home the 4 children are so excited to see her it is difficult to talk. Martin and Tawnya had not been concerned as they felt my lifestyle would have protected me from breast cancer. They were both surprised and pretty somber when I told them.

The Radiologist gave me the name of a Surgeon to make an appointment with. Tawnya did some research and found out he had a good reputation so I made an appointment to go in and see him on August 21, 2008.